The Feminist Fairy Tale
“My better half.”
“You complete me.”
“The missing piece I’ve been looking for.”
Once upon a time, we heard these romantic cliches and wholeheartedly subscribed to the adages. These are sayings from our favorite movies, lyrics from classic karaoke bangers, and excerpts from beloved novels. The prototypical concept of love and romance that has been ingrained in young women is as predictable and formulaic as 9th-grade Algebra. And much like high school math, I have a huge problem with it.
As girls and young women, we dream of becoming fairy tale princesses, rescued by knights in shining armor. We fantasize about our one true love and believe life will not be complete until we find this perfect match. We buy into the idea we are not fully formed queens until this partnership is discovered, and only then can we get the fabled ending, “and they lived happily ever after.”
As previously admitted, formulas are not my strong suit. But even I know this fairy tale math doesn’t add up. By all means, shoutout to my girls Ariel, Jasmine, and Belle for their singing chops and stunning fashion sense, but when it comes to the notion of true love they have all hit the wrong note.
The real love story is the one told within. Genuine true love is unconditional, steadfast, and lasts a lifetime. This love is with you during life’s triumphant highs and depressing lows. This love knows every inch of your heart and accepts every part of wonderful you. This love knows you are whole and worthy as you are, no knight or prince needed. This love is self-love.
Unfortunately, we can’t wave a sparkly magic wand and self-love appears. It doesn’t show up with a cute, glass slipper pump or a chic, flying magic carpet. Self-love is a marathon of mental and emotional work, with each day choosing yourself first. Self-love is intentional and impactful. Self-love helps us love others better and with more authenticity.
What if fairy tales taught us to view ourselves as lovingly as we viewed Prince Charming? What if we changed the narrative and started to Speak Love to ourselves first? The new Feminist Fairy Tale is the love letter we deserve:
“I am whole. I am complete. I am unbroken.”
And she lived happily ever after.
- Ashley Palmby
Guest Blogger
Ashley Palmby is the founder of the blog and podcast, The Sparkle Beat. She is passionate about helping others find “sparkle” by embracing their inner light through authentic engagement, reflection, and self-development. Ashley is inspired by the amazing impact WSO has on Hawaii’s youth- the best glow ups happen from within!